Wait

Often I come here for your words

my feet working in steady measure with my mind

not stopping lest my prayers follow suit

stepping out as my emotions move in

I come here for your words but I can't hear them over the maelstrom caused by my own

I begin the work to break through

an anchored pattern of gratitude and adoration

A for authority

B for benevolent

C for comforting...

I come here for your words but insist on replacing them with my own

I move on and carve out space to listen

emotions and requests immediately fill the aperture

longings, hurts, needs, fears, hopes

I try and keep them out, like holding back waves with a single stone

I don't want to always speak, I just want to listen

I came here for your words! so why are you not speaking?

the hands of time press on without me and my anxiousness grows

why are you withholding? isn't this what you want?

and then in the silence I hear what you are saying

the realization settles that both my feet and my mind have overstepped once again

I have chosen my plans over yours

as if you are owned by me and must show up when I say

as if you answer to me and can be shut out when I say

and then I remember why I came

I came here for your words because they are precious and worthy

because they are as breath to me

they are worth the crossing and the trial

so I will hold on to your command to be still

and I will wait patiently for the Lord

Psalm 37:7