Word on the street is thats all done with a lite-brite and 700,000 pegs. None of the light bright stuff is animated!
Love, love, love the stuff that David Crowder puts out. And I dont really even buy their albums. But theres about 10-12 songs that they've released that have just really stuck with me. And the interviews I've read and the book he released about death, and the few minutes I spent talking with him after a show once. I just love their creativity. And how they don't limit themselves to any specific genre. And I love that they belong to the growing group of christian artists that are producing really cool and innovative media. And this video is no exception. Check it out.
Be good to each other.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Sufjan Spits Truth
"The Good News is about grace and hope and love and a relinquishing of self to God. And I think the Good News of salvation is kind of relevant to everyone and everything".
That was the response that Sufjan Stevens gave in a recent interview when asked if he found that the calling to spread the good news sat awkwardly with his profile.
And while I'm sure you could totally argue points and possible theology errors behind this or just whatever, I don't really care. I can though simply say that I really like his answer. In its very simplest form, its absolutely true. It has to be, or a lot of us are liars.
That was the response that Sufjan Stevens gave in a recent interview when asked if he found that the calling to spread the good news sat awkwardly with his profile.
And while I'm sure you could totally argue points and possible theology errors behind this or just whatever, I don't really care. I can though simply say that I really like his answer. In its very simplest form, its absolutely true. It has to be, or a lot of us are liars.
Cause heres the thing that used to always leave me confused. Back in the day when I went to a church where if you looked good you were good. No questions asked. Dont cuss, drink, or watch bad movies. Listen to K-love, or Air-1 if you're younger, dont dress crazy and you're golden. So basically from the outside looking in, its just behavior modification 101. Do this, dont do this. And so for a while I had all these questions about where the gospel could fit into the lives of people who were already doing those things but without church. Cause from everything I had seen, crackheads and prostitutes needed Jesus, but middle class suburban mom's who brought snack to their kids' soccer games and had the perfect husband didn't really need Jesus at all, in fact it would look straight up silly for someone to try and tell them *their* life needed help. The way that evangelism was modeled to me was basically you find someone who's life is just a total mess. Like on the verge of destruction. And thats not hard to do. Not in this world. Then you tell them about Jesus and you present him in such a way that it sounds like if they would just believe what you were saying then their wreck of a life would get fixed and wala! Conversion. Go pick up your free ice cream cone for you and one for your new friend... not to mention your rewards in heaven....
But if you found someone who's life was not a wreck. Someone who had a great life and who actually seemed to be doing a heck of a lot better than you were, then..... awkward..... sorry, my gospel is not big enough to cover all of that awkwardity.
So those questions started out small and then pretty soon I was asking myself, if the gospel really was just a way to fix up everyones' life so they can look pretty. Because if thats all it is, then at some point there are going to be people that just don't need it. And I knew that couldn't be right, so it had to be something else. It had to be big enough to touch everything, everyone, everywhere. It had to be just as necessary to the super friendly old man who went to church regularly, gave money to orphans and never stopped smiling, as it was to the drug dealing prostitute with two starving kids at home. Because if it wasn't then it was useless.
Fast forward a few years to when I realized that the gospel is Jesus. Its a person not a formula. Jesus is the answer. Hhmm. Churchy.
The gospel is not five steps to material success and overall well-being. No thats the Oprah show and most of barnes and noble. The gospel is as Sufjan said, a relinquishing of self to Christ. Its freedom. Its not are you good or bad, lets figure it out so we can diagnose you. But rather its, here is God. You get God. God who loved you so he became a man so that he could climb into our lives and then die a sickening death on a blood-splattered cross to offer us something so much better than material success or overall well-being. He did it so he could become the curse for us and instead offer us himself. God, the God who created you and everything else, came down to offer us himself. And thats enough because once thats what we're after, then our lives make sense and they take on eternal value. We're all created to worship. Regardless of what you believe, you can agree on that. Humans love to worship stuff. Sports, people, cars, clothes, each other. Its in our DNA. Its just worshipping the wrong stuff that we're prone to and thats what leads us to sadness, disappointment, loss, rejection, betrayal and fear. But in Christ we're free from every bad thing, and freed up to have joy in every good thing. Because when we worship the God we were created to worship, then we can never be hurt, rejected or betrayed. Which is why the Christian who is about to have their head chopped off for the sake of Christ can have joy, because you can't stop a Christian, even if you kill him. Because they will get God. And he is enough.
But if you found someone who's life was not a wreck. Someone who had a great life and who actually seemed to be doing a heck of a lot better than you were, then..... awkward..... sorry, my gospel is not big enough to cover all of that awkwardity.
So those questions started out small and then pretty soon I was asking myself, if the gospel really was just a way to fix up everyones' life so they can look pretty. Because if thats all it is, then at some point there are going to be people that just don't need it. And I knew that couldn't be right, so it had to be something else. It had to be big enough to touch everything, everyone, everywhere. It had to be just as necessary to the super friendly old man who went to church regularly, gave money to orphans and never stopped smiling, as it was to the drug dealing prostitute with two starving kids at home. Because if it wasn't then it was useless.
Fast forward a few years to when I realized that the gospel is Jesus. Its a person not a formula. Jesus is the answer. Hhmm. Churchy.
The gospel is not five steps to material success and overall well-being. No thats the Oprah show and most of barnes and noble. The gospel is as Sufjan said, a relinquishing of self to Christ. Its freedom. Its not are you good or bad, lets figure it out so we can diagnose you. But rather its, here is God. You get God. God who loved you so he became a man so that he could climb into our lives and then die a sickening death on a blood-splattered cross to offer us something so much better than material success or overall well-being. He did it so he could become the curse for us and instead offer us himself. God, the God who created you and everything else, came down to offer us himself. And thats enough because once thats what we're after, then our lives make sense and they take on eternal value. We're all created to worship. Regardless of what you believe, you can agree on that. Humans love to worship stuff. Sports, people, cars, clothes, each other. Its in our DNA. Its just worshipping the wrong stuff that we're prone to and thats what leads us to sadness, disappointment, loss, rejection, betrayal and fear. But in Christ we're free from every bad thing, and freed up to have joy in every good thing. Because when we worship the God we were created to worship, then we can never be hurt, rejected or betrayed. Which is why the Christian who is about to have their head chopped off for the sake of Christ can have joy, because you can't stop a Christian, even if you kill him. Because they will get God. And he is enough.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Pick Any Overplayed Song From the 60's About Love & Use it to Cleverly Title This Post
So I've got this blog, right. And its my blog. Sorta. Really its blogger's blog and really its Al Gore's internet, and really its God's Al Gore. But basically its my blog. And I can say all kinds of things here. Whatever I want. And if you've never met me, I could use this blog to create a whole new persona about myself. If someone had never met me, and all they knew of me was my blog, and all that I ever wrote on my blog was stuff about snow leopards. And I researched them and wrote all kinds of posts about snow leaopards. About what they eat and where they live and what they look like and how much I just love snow leopards. La la la love leopards.com. You would really believe that I loved snow leopards.
But what if then you met me in real life and I never talked about leopards and I didn't own any lisa frank binders with pink leopards on them and when someone asked me a question about snow leopards I had no idea how to answer unless I looked the question up online and in fact I had actually killed a couple snow leopards before (that part is true)....... (not really).
I would end up proving to be super fake. And probably people wouldnt take my information about leopards seriously anymore (assuming that anyone would have taken them seriously to begin with).
Lets land the leopard spotted plane.
In my last post I wrote about Bethel. And all about where it was wrong and why I believe this and where scripture backs me up. And I'm not regretting writing that, or saying I should have been more careful. If you missed it, its the one right under this. Feel free.
But in my conversations about it with close friends in real life, I was a little less loving in how I came across. It was much easier for me to make stupid jokes about it or use the word "crazy" a little more often when describing the service. And I would definitely say I spoke my heart in that last post on here. I didn't fake it to try and sound "extra loving" or "extra spiritual". I just came home that night and snapped out the post while it was all still fresh.
But I also know that when it comes to real life, scripture says out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. So which is it?
Thats not the point (plane is still traveling down the landing strip apparantly)
This is the point
2 Timothy 2 “the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.”
And then theres this little nugget.
John 13:34-35. “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
Really? Thats the distinguishing factor for a Christian verses everybody else? Are you sure it isn't having good theology and not watching Oprah? (althought both practices are equally important).
and finally the last nail in the conviction stained coffin
1 Corinithians 8
"Now concerning food offered to idols: we know that "all of us possess knowledge." This "knowledge" puffs up, but love builds up. If anyone imagines that he knows something, he does not yet know as he ought to know. But if anyone loves God, he is known by God."
That verse in its context isn't saying knowledge is a bad thing, and theres definitely a greater meaning going on there but just that idea alone is something that resonates with me for sure. Knowledge puffs up but love builds up.
Word.
So my goal is to never allow myself to act more spiritual or more loving or more anything in my writing than I would in my everyday speach and actions. But even more than that my goal is just to be more loving. I believe that God has given me a gift of discernment coupled with an unnatural desire to learn wisdom. Not cause I'm awesome, but just cause he wanted me to be able to use those gifts for his kingdom. The gifts I have aren't for me. They're for Him and for kingdom work. And the bible tells us that regardless of how much knowledge we have or any great ability to articulate it, if we dont have love its useless. So lets not get crazy and start thinking we're all something when we're nothing. Just love God because we want to be known by God. And thats it.
But what if then you met me in real life and I never talked about leopards and I didn't own any lisa frank binders with pink leopards on them and when someone asked me a question about snow leopards I had no idea how to answer unless I looked the question up online and in fact I had actually killed a couple snow leopards before (that part is true)....... (not really).
I would end up proving to be super fake. And probably people wouldnt take my information about leopards seriously anymore (assuming that anyone would have taken them seriously to begin with).
Lets land the leopard spotted plane.
In my last post I wrote about Bethel. And all about where it was wrong and why I believe this and where scripture backs me up. And I'm not regretting writing that, or saying I should have been more careful. If you missed it, its the one right under this. Feel free.
But in my conversations about it with close friends in real life, I was a little less loving in how I came across. It was much easier for me to make stupid jokes about it or use the word "crazy" a little more often when describing the service. And I would definitely say I spoke my heart in that last post on here. I didn't fake it to try and sound "extra loving" or "extra spiritual". I just came home that night and snapped out the post while it was all still fresh.
But I also know that when it comes to real life, scripture says out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. So which is it?
Thats not the point (plane is still traveling down the landing strip apparantly)
This is the point
2 Timothy 2 “the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.”
And then theres this little nugget.
John 13:34-35. “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
Really? Thats the distinguishing factor for a Christian verses everybody else? Are you sure it isn't having good theology and not watching Oprah? (althought both practices are equally important).
and finally the last nail in the conviction stained coffin
1 Corinithians 8
"Now concerning food offered to idols: we know that "all of us possess knowledge." This "knowledge" puffs up, but love builds up. If anyone imagines that he knows something, he does not yet know as he ought to know. But if anyone loves God, he is known by God."
That verse in its context isn't saying knowledge is a bad thing, and theres definitely a greater meaning going on there but just that idea alone is something that resonates with me for sure. Knowledge puffs up but love builds up.
Word.
So my goal is to never allow myself to act more spiritual or more loving or more anything in my writing than I would in my everyday speach and actions. But even more than that my goal is just to be more loving. I believe that God has given me a gift of discernment coupled with an unnatural desire to learn wisdom. Not cause I'm awesome, but just cause he wanted me to be able to use those gifts for his kingdom. The gifts I have aren't for me. They're for Him and for kingdom work. And the bible tells us that regardless of how much knowledge we have or any great ability to articulate it, if we dont have love its useless. So lets not get crazy and start thinking we're all something when we're nothing. Just love God because we want to be known by God. And thats it.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Bethel Convictions
Tonight....... I went to Bethel. My friend Andrea and I hopped in the car and went to the sunday evening service at Bethel church in Redding. Why? Because enough was enough. Because I've had several people recently either tell me they felt like God was calling me to bethel, or tell me that I seemed like someone who would go to Bethel and also because some of my very best friends attend there and I wanted to check it out. But also because I knew I needed to have more love for the people there. Because I've never made it any secret that the sin I struggle with probably the most is self righteousness and I hate that. But often that plays itself out in the form of "I'm right, you're dumb for being wrong, heres why I'm right, and heres why you should feel stupid". And I never would say those things out loud. Cause my sin is much too perfected for that. No I just think them to myself or let them come out in other ways. Usually through the use of sarcastic quips or jokes. Did I mention that I hate that about myself? I hate the arrogance in it and the fact that it denies the cross of its glory in saving me, the biggest idiot of all and then me still being able to somehow walk away and try to condemn others for their errors. Its sick. And I'm thankful that the Holy Spirit has already changed me quite a bit from how bad it was but I still need much grace to fix that in my heart.
No blog is complete without some good confession of sin, so that was mine.
Ok so we went and I prayed much before going and asked the lord to convict me of my self righteous feelings toward the church and help me to have love for the people there and especially for the pastor who I had currentlyloathed disliked very much. And I prayed for much discernment and then read through 1st Corinthians. And then we went.
Here is my forward. For Christians, whether or not something is "weird" should never be a basis for whether or not something is true. Like just the fact that something is out of my comfort zone, isn't automatically proof that it must be false and from the devil. Because we test things according to scripture not according to what we're comfortable with. Because really, Christians are weird. One of the foundational elements of our faith is that God chose to impregnate a 14 year old virgin so that she could give birth to his son, also being God, in a barn full of farm animals. Thats really weird, but to us who believe and understand it, its so completely beautiful. So as a Christian who has the Holy Spirit living inside me, then wherever scripture is being taught accurately and the Holy Spirit is truly present is where I should feel comfortable. If thats in a place where people are laying hands on everybody and women are twirling around on stage with banners, then thats my new comfort zone. Congratulations to me. Or if thats with my dressed up little butt on a hard wooden pew listening to nothing but an organ, then hallelujiah to that as well and may our own selfishness and pride not get in the way of opportunities to worship just because its not our"style". So up front I will just say that my overall conclusion of the church has nothing to do with the fact that it is very "different" in how its set up. But my conclusion does have everything to do with scripture and the fact that they did not adhere to it.
Alright so really not all that interested in giving you a play by play of what went on in the service and then the verse that negates it (bunch of people speaking in tongues at once with no interperter; read 1 corinthians 14 etc.) but I will give you the overall conclusion of why I am now finally convinced that Bethel is not just a matter of "yeah they're a little weird, but pretty close on most things so whatever". They are preaching an entirely different gospel. To which Paul would say anyone who preaches another gospel should be accursed. Different gospel=different team. And the thing that kills me. The thing that made it to where I could hardly stand to stay in the building one second longer is the thought of all the heartbreak these people will have and probably do have as a result of the frustration felt when God is not fulfilling promises that he never actually promised. God never promised He would make you have lots of money or be without sickness. In fact we worship a homeless man who was murdered. A man who told his followers that they would be without homes and would endure much suffering for his sake.
And so I am standing there looking at all these people. So many beautiful people, many of whom probably truly love the lord and want to follow him, but they are told that that means something that it doesnt. And they're being led to believe that if they could just muster up enough faith then their lives could finally be whole. When in reality all they need for their lives to be whole is the gospel. But the gospel wasn't taught there. No mention of it was made at all. Several people got "healed" of various problems. But no mention of Christ. And the problem with that, is that even if little johnny goes home and he's no longer cross-eyed, if he gets killed in a car crash, he still doesn't know Jesus.
And without the gospel nothing else matters. We have to believe that it is enough. And anything that teaches the gospel plus something, is not the gospel and should therefore be extremely guarded against.
No blog is complete without some good confession of sin, so that was mine.
Ok so we went and I prayed much before going and asked the lord to convict me of my self righteous feelings toward the church and help me to have love for the people there and especially for the pastor who I had currently
Here is my forward. For Christians, whether or not something is "weird" should never be a basis for whether or not something is true. Like just the fact that something is out of my comfort zone, isn't automatically proof that it must be false and from the devil. Because we test things according to scripture not according to what we're comfortable with. Because really, Christians are weird. One of the foundational elements of our faith is that God chose to impregnate a 14 year old virgin so that she could give birth to his son, also being God, in a barn full of farm animals. Thats really weird, but to us who believe and understand it, its so completely beautiful. So as a Christian who has the Holy Spirit living inside me, then wherever scripture is being taught accurately and the Holy Spirit is truly present is where I should feel comfortable. If thats in a place where people are laying hands on everybody and women are twirling around on stage with banners, then thats my new comfort zone. Congratulations to me. Or if thats with my dressed up little butt on a hard wooden pew listening to nothing but an organ, then hallelujiah to that as well and may our own selfishness and pride not get in the way of opportunities to worship just because its not our"style". So up front I will just say that my overall conclusion of the church has nothing to do with the fact that it is very "different" in how its set up. But my conclusion does have everything to do with scripture and the fact that they did not adhere to it.
Alright so really not all that interested in giving you a play by play of what went on in the service and then the verse that negates it (bunch of people speaking in tongues at once with no interperter; read 1 corinthians 14 etc.) but I will give you the overall conclusion of why I am now finally convinced that Bethel is not just a matter of "yeah they're a little weird, but pretty close on most things so whatever". They are preaching an entirely different gospel. To which Paul would say anyone who preaches another gospel should be accursed. Different gospel=different team. And the thing that kills me. The thing that made it to where I could hardly stand to stay in the building one second longer is the thought of all the heartbreak these people will have and probably do have as a result of the frustration felt when God is not fulfilling promises that he never actually promised. God never promised He would make you have lots of money or be without sickness. In fact we worship a homeless man who was murdered. A man who told his followers that they would be without homes and would endure much suffering for his sake.
And so I am standing there looking at all these people. So many beautiful people, many of whom probably truly love the lord and want to follow him, but they are told that that means something that it doesnt. And they're being led to believe that if they could just muster up enough faith then their lives could finally be whole. When in reality all they need for their lives to be whole is the gospel. But the gospel wasn't taught there. No mention of it was made at all. Several people got "healed" of various problems. But no mention of Christ. And the problem with that, is that even if little johnny goes home and he's no longer cross-eyed, if he gets killed in a car crash, he still doesn't know Jesus.
And without the gospel nothing else matters. We have to believe that it is enough. And anything that teaches the gospel plus something, is not the gospel and should therefore be extremely guarded against.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Surprise by Design!
I'm going to confess to you that today I woke up and one of the first things I did was turn on the television. And I dont mind sharing that because it literally never happens. I mean I hardly watch any tv to begin with, but even then its usually in the evenings and for maybe like a half hour. Actually to be quite honest I've found myself completely incapable of making it through an entire half hour program. Ever since Lost went off the air I have had almost zero interest in the tube (I hate myself for just calling it the tube).
But I think today was different probably because my parents are gone and usually by the time I wake up my dad has been up for hours and the news is always on. The very first thing I hear in the morning is CNN. And when I wake up and dont hear that, its weird and I know something is off. So today after asking the lord what I should do with this day that I had originally had something scheduled for but now was a completely blank slate, I flipped on HGTV and watched about six minutes of designed to sell. And in that six minutes my brain said "aha! We shall paint the living room!" And I turned off the tv, jumped in the shower, cleared the room, moved the furniture, dumped out my jar of paint samples, picked some colors and then headed into town for supplies.
The walls in our house have always been just this mental hospital white. No joke. The walls are white. The trim is white, the doors are white, the ceiling is white, the windows are white. My house. Is white.
Which is probably why I'm such a freak about color. But my poor mother. She's always wanted color on the walls. But it scares my dad for some reason. He likes white. And a couple weeks before they left my mom said to me "you know if you wanted to maybe paint one of these walls while we're gone, I would be ok with that". Thanks mom. Thats all I needed to hear. Anyway, long story short as an anniversary present to them both, bust mostly my mom I decided it was time for some color.
After
But I think today was different probably because my parents are gone and usually by the time I wake up my dad has been up for hours and the news is always on. The very first thing I hear in the morning is CNN. And when I wake up and dont hear that, its weird and I know something is off. So today after asking the lord what I should do with this day that I had originally had something scheduled for but now was a completely blank slate, I flipped on HGTV and watched about six minutes of designed to sell. And in that six minutes my brain said "aha! We shall paint the living room!" And I turned off the tv, jumped in the shower, cleared the room, moved the furniture, dumped out my jar of paint samples, picked some colors and then headed into town for supplies.
The walls in our house have always been just this mental hospital white. No joke. The walls are white. The trim is white, the doors are white, the ceiling is white, the windows are white. My house. Is white.
Which is probably why I'm such a freak about color. But my poor mother. She's always wanted color on the walls. But it scares my dad for some reason. He likes white. And a couple weeks before they left my mom said to me "you know if you wanted to maybe paint one of these walls while we're gone, I would be ok with that". Thanks mom. Thats all I needed to hear. Anyway, long story short as an anniversary present to them both, bust mostly my mom I decided it was time for some color.
Before
After
Very warm and cottagey. Not exactly my personal style, but I think it will be right down their alley. And just in time for fall.
Now we wait and see what they say :)
Now we wait and see what they say :)
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Holy Spirit vs. Pepperoni Pizza
disclaimer: in the event of pure and total honesty (i would say transparency, but I just heard recently that "Yammering about "transparency" makes you seem crooked. It's like constantly reminding people you're not a child molester." So #countmeout) I will say that this post was actually written last sunday but never finished so wherever I say today, I really mean last sunday. Till you start getting to the end, and then if i say today, I'm most likely referring to today today. All in favor of not caring which day I'm talking about say aye. Good. Here we go.
K, story; today (but not today) after we were dismissed from church I was standing in the aisle and a man who had been sitting behind me came up and introduced himself. I didnt know him at all and if I'd seen him before at church I'll be honest and say I never paid attention. But he shook my hand and then he told me that for several weeks he felt the lord had been pressing on his heart to talk to me. To apologize rather. I had no idea what he could possibly need to apologize for. I'd never talked to him. Then he told me that several weeks ago in church I had turned around and looked at him sitting a few rows back and I had waved and given a big huge smile. And then he said, "I dont know, maybe you were waving to someone else behind me, but I've just really felt the lord telling me I needed to come talk to you and apologize for not waving back and just giving you a blank stare". Well not to sound uncaring but I either must have been waving at someone else or he must have had me mistaken with someone else because I'm fairly friendly, but its really quite uncharacteristic of me to just whip around in the middle of church and wave at strange men. Sorry I'm not sorry?
BUT. You have to do something with the fact that he "felt the lord pressing on his heart to apologize to me". And for weeks he said he felt this! This man, by what he said, has apparently been battling conviction for weeks about something that didn't really even happen.
So what do we do with that? Well you always have the possibility that while the holy spirit knew full well I had waved at someone else he had something to teach this man about compassion or friendliness. Maybe. Thats for him. Happy to help. But then theres also the idea that the holy spirit wasnt convicting him at all. That he had nothing to feel convicted about, it was just a misunderstanding and he allowed his guilt and emotions to plague him for weeks and convince him that the issue was spiritual.
Because thats what I do.
I think part of it is just the way I am wired. I almost can't help but overthink every situation. And then overthink the reasons why I overthunk it (that just happened). My inner head voice is constantly running. And so I can't deny the fact that I've acted several times from feelings that I was so sure were God driven only to see later where it was really just my own desires drowning out all the other voices till I was convinced it must be God talking when in reality I was acting out of selfishness. And some of these weren't just small decisions. Some were things I prayed and prayed about and in the end went with my "gut" (a.k.a. fake holy spirit voice) only to realize later that I'd made a "mistake" and what I thought was the holy spirit's calling was actually just that spicy pizza talking back.
"my gut is telling me no..... but my gut is also very hungry"-Gob Bluth (that was for free)
So here is what I know:
John 10:3-5
"To him the gatekeeper opens. The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. A stranger they will not follow, but they will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers."
So judging by this passage I am to be familiar with God's voice. I'm supposed to know it and run from what is fake. And when I do hear His voice I am to trust it, because thats the voice of my father who doesn't harm me ever. So how do I get familiar with that voice? How do I get to a place where I know whats real and whats fake. Whats God and whats pizza.... or me.... or satan?
The Biiiiiiiiiible. The same way you get familar with any other voice. You listen to it. Over and over again. All the time. I can be in the noisiest establishment sitting far away from the speakers but I can tell you within seconds if a Dashboard Confessional song comes on (not the most impressive of skills to brag about I know). Why? Because I've been listening to their music for years and I know it. And if another band covered one of their songs, I would so be able to tell.
So I guess my point is, its when I'm not spending enough time in scripture and in prayer that all the different voices sound fuzzy. And I think maybe the little run in with church guy, regardless of what it meant for him, was a good reminder for me to stay in that place where I know God's voice so that I will be able to flee from other voices that are not his, the ones that do intend to harm me.
K, story; today (but not today) after we were dismissed from church I was standing in the aisle and a man who had been sitting behind me came up and introduced himself. I didnt know him at all and if I'd seen him before at church I'll be honest and say I never paid attention. But he shook my hand and then he told me that for several weeks he felt the lord had been pressing on his heart to talk to me. To apologize rather. I had no idea what he could possibly need to apologize for. I'd never talked to him. Then he told me that several weeks ago in church I had turned around and looked at him sitting a few rows back and I had waved and given a big huge smile. And then he said, "I dont know, maybe you were waving to someone else behind me, but I've just really felt the lord telling me I needed to come talk to you and apologize for not waving back and just giving you a blank stare". Well not to sound uncaring but I either must have been waving at someone else or he must have had me mistaken with someone else because I'm fairly friendly, but its really quite uncharacteristic of me to just whip around in the middle of church and wave at strange men. Sorry I'm not sorry?
BUT. You have to do something with the fact that he "felt the lord pressing on his heart to apologize to me". And for weeks he said he felt this! This man, by what he said, has apparently been battling conviction for weeks about something that didn't really even happen.
So what do we do with that? Well you always have the possibility that while the holy spirit knew full well I had waved at someone else he had something to teach this man about compassion or friendliness. Maybe. Thats for him. Happy to help. But then theres also the idea that the holy spirit wasnt convicting him at all. That he had nothing to feel convicted about, it was just a misunderstanding and he allowed his guilt and emotions to plague him for weeks and convince him that the issue was spiritual.
Because thats what I do.
I think part of it is just the way I am wired. I almost can't help but overthink every situation. And then overthink the reasons why I overthunk it (that just happened). My inner head voice is constantly running. And so I can't deny the fact that I've acted several times from feelings that I was so sure were God driven only to see later where it was really just my own desires drowning out all the other voices till I was convinced it must be God talking when in reality I was acting out of selfishness. And some of these weren't just small decisions. Some were things I prayed and prayed about and in the end went with my "gut" (a.k.a. fake holy spirit voice) only to realize later that I'd made a "mistake" and what I thought was the holy spirit's calling was actually just that spicy pizza talking back.
"my gut is telling me no..... but my gut is also very hungry"-Gob Bluth (that was for free)
So here is what I know:
John 10:3-5
"To him the gatekeeper opens. The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. A stranger they will not follow, but they will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers."
So judging by this passage I am to be familiar with God's voice. I'm supposed to know it and run from what is fake. And when I do hear His voice I am to trust it, because thats the voice of my father who doesn't harm me ever. So how do I get familiar with that voice? How do I get to a place where I know whats real and whats fake. Whats God and whats pizza.... or me.... or satan?
The Biiiiiiiiiible. The same way you get familar with any other voice. You listen to it. Over and over again. All the time. I can be in the noisiest establishment sitting far away from the speakers but I can tell you within seconds if a Dashboard Confessional song comes on (not the most impressive of skills to brag about I know). Why? Because I've been listening to their music for years and I know it. And if another band covered one of their songs, I would so be able to tell.
So I guess my point is, its when I'm not spending enough time in scripture and in prayer that all the different voices sound fuzzy. And I think maybe the little run in with church guy, regardless of what it meant for him, was a good reminder for me to stay in that place where I know God's voice so that I will be able to flee from other voices that are not his, the ones that do intend to harm me.
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