What Would Jesus Paint? WWJP

If you were just to take the very simplest definition of the word bipolar, it would more or less pertain to me. But only some days. Which really only confirms my suspicion even further. You can probably find a more fitting category for me in the DSM-IV, but as my friend said, that’s ok. We all fit in there somewhere.

But all unqualified medical diagnostics aside, my particular brand of back-and-forths, pertains mainly to my love of throw pillows and paint chips (and thats how, in just one sentence you can alienate half the people who started reading your post, so for two of you that are still here, come right this way...). To keep my explanation of the interworkings of my conscience as simple as possible, i'll give you the two most basic extremes of where my heart will be at on a given day.

First Extreme

1. When Jesus comes back and we're forever released from the spell of materialism and we realize that much of our lives were wasted on things that have no eternal value despite the fact that we were created for eternity and momentarily forced to live in time, we will not care what our house looked like, or what our hair looked like, or what brand of watch we wore. And we will see those things for the filthy hinderences that they were in the mission to live and preach the gospel.

second extreme...

2. Color excites me. God has so obviously given me a passion for fabric and paint and furniture and seeing colors come together and designing ways to make a space feel comfortable or inviting or warm or fun. And I love getting paid to create and paint and persuade others to make their home look more appealing and love to spend hours and hours on it.

Background...

I've always known I loved decorating. Like I dont know why really or exactly when, its just always been there. And when I was seven I designed my own bedroom. I wanted light purple on the bottom and sponged mint green on top with white wood border in the center and stamped purple butterflies on the border. And I remember my mom taking me to target so I could pick out the bedding i wanted. I chose soft mint green sheets (which i still have) and a dark purple comforter for contrast (which I still have) and then various pillows of white and green and purple.

Alright, so i've always loved design.

When I got older I started loving Jesus. And I remember feeling conflicted because I always thought you were supposed to put the practical thing you loved together with the thing you were created for. So kinda like if I loved singing then I needed to lead worship and make christian music. And if I loved writing, then I should write books about Jesus or fiction novels for teen girls about young women in the west who wear bonnets. But interior design? How do you interior design for Jesus? And so I wondered how you would take something that is purely superficial and could be argued in the gospel perspective a waste of our resources and make it not those things? So I painted a youth room. I painted my old church youth room and I painted scripture and quotes about Jesus on the wall thinking that was a good way to mesh the two. And it was I guess.

But like I said, I feel this really strong sense of "who cares what your house looks like, in light of of the fact that people are dying without Jesus". So if I can spend 50 dollars and paint my bedroom or I can spend 50 dollars and send bibles to Africa, or feed a starving child or give clean water to 50 africans, how can I justify the aestethics? And really I dont know the answer. I guess the answer is, sometimes I can't justify it. And other times I can. But its definitely not something I dont still struggle with.

And that sounds really weird and a little dramatic and I've heard countless people give me the advice of, "well God made us to enjoy those things and its not a sin for us to want to enjoy his creation", and maybe it really is just as simple as that. But I'm not talking across the board right and wrong. I'm just talking personal conviction. I'm saying that for me, with as much as I enjoy putting colors together and imagining artistic ways to decorate, and I dont feel God is angry at me when I choose to paint, I still feel a slight twinge of, "at the end of my life am I going to wish I had spent more time painting or more time ministering?"

I have lots of different thoughts about it, verses about "Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God" or how I can use my paint skills missionaly, or how by that train of thought much of what we do is a waste of time, and those are other blogs, for other days, but for now, thats where I personally am at. My personal legalism :)

Painter of Vines

Finally finished my bedroom painting! Aaaand closet organizing. Aaaaaaand drawer cleaning, Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand clothes getting rid of. Unloaded a good five trash bags full of stuff into my car. I feel thirty pounds lighter. Too. Much. Stuff. Found a lot of cool junk though. You nevre realize how weird your life has been until you go through all the stuff you've saved from it. Also found lots of heart melting notes and cards and gifts from people. Even though its usually an all day production, I actually kind of enjoy sorting through all my stuff when its been a while. And Holly made out like a bandit.
When I started my room about five months ago I had a plan for the main wall that involved a pretty ridiculous floral design mural. I started it and then school and everything else kept me from finishing and I just had these horrendous half-painted flowers on the wall that made me want to barf every time I woke up and saw them. So painting over them was on the tip top of my "things to do when I get done with school list"
Since I have so much paint on hand though from all kinds of other projects, my goal was to not spend any new dollars on this one. I just used whatever paint I had in our (my) shed. Which made it a little more challenging I guess, but it was also more fun getting a new room design for free. And because I do a lot of painting for other people, its rarely *just* about what I want for a space. Of course I always get to throw in my input and ultimately I usually do end up putting something close to my original vision up on the wall, but theres always the other person to consider. Their tastes, personality, budget and willingness to take risks. Which is what makes it fun for me, but when I go and do my own room theres always an increased level of excitement because I get to do whateeeever I want. So I try and do things that are new to me. Or that I wouldnt suggest in other peoples' homes cause I'm not sure how well it will turn out (i.e. crazy floral murals). But in this case, I just went for the classic tree on the wall. Its overdone for sure, but who cares? I still dig it. And I did try to give it my own little twist. So without further ado, heres the mostly finished product!

I got the inspiration for the vines from some wall rub-ons that I saw and then I just added the fat bird to give it a little extra color.




And of course one bird would just be lonely so I gave him a cute little yellow wifey bird. Hopefully I dont end up with a bunch of little orange baby birds stuck to my wall :)

Kayla R Your Appointment is Here!

The rumors are true! Thank you all so much for the prayers not only for my state board test but also for me while I was in school. I feel completely grateful knowing that so many people were praying! As a result, I am now a California licensed Cosmetologist for hair skin and nails. But lets be honest, you really only want me working on your hair. I avoided waxing appointments like the plague while in school and artificial nails is just one aesthetic I will never understand. If you're supposed to wear gloves when working with the chemical then who decided it was a good idea to mix em together and fixate them to your fingers? It's just weird to me ok? Sorry again if thats your thing. My thing is having clean fingernails I guess. The point is, I'm done and that feels really, really refreshing. About 11 months ago on October 20th I showed up for the first day of school and now almost a year later, Im walking away with a license for cosmetology. Good game. But glad that season is over for me. Except that I would do it all again even if it meant failing state board and never getting a license (dont tell my parents though, they funded the whole operation). I would though because it was during my time in cosmetology school that God chose to cure me of my narcissism. Or at least some of it. #godofirony

And so for all of the complaining I did, for all of the "free time" I didnt have (which I now realize was actually being used more or less as wasted time before) and for all of the weird, gross, cranky and creepy people I dealt with, I can see where God's hand was in all of it, drawing me to a better understanding of him and what kinds of things he can use to teach his children. And how my comfort is far less important than my need for humility and to learn over and over again that this movie is not about me. And so for that I would do all eleven months again. True Story.







But I dont have to because I passed state board so lets just rejoice in that!

Choosing to Stay Away From Books About Girls in Bonnets

Yesterday I found this article on the Mars Hill Blog titled, Awesome Women of the Reformation and I was drawn to it because in Christian media circles I feel like its kind of hard to find good lit for women that is about more than just relationships or emotions or housekeeping like Martha in the bible. Not that those things aren't important its just that usually they are more about me and how I can become a slightly more Jesusy version of Martha Stewart. So when I was younger I always got the impression that real theology study was for boys and for girls there was a whole series of fiction books written by Beverly Lewis that we could choose from. All of which seemed to showcase an emotionally torn young girl living in prospector territory California who has to rely on prayer to help her make the tough decision between chastity and following her dream of becoming a saloon dancer. Fill in the blanks.
Am I bitter about whats on the market as christian literature for girls? No. Why would you ask that?
But really, my point is I liked the article because many of those women were wives and mothers and worked with children and managed the home but they were also martyrd and they had to flee their homes and they were educated and they challenged bad theology and they just worked really really hard.

• Katharina Schutz Zell: organized relief for 150 men exiled from their town for their faith, and wrote scriptural encouragements to the wives and children left behind
• Elisabeth Cruciger: She wrote the first protestant hymn in 1524, which created a controversy since women were not usually songwriters in her day.
• Marie Dentière: She was part of an Augustinian monastery in Tournai, which she later left after embracing the teachings of the reformers, a crime against both church and state. She also spoke out in public taverns and on street corners.
• Catherine Willoughby: she fled to the Netherlands with her infant and was forced into exile as a support of the Reformation.

I want to do missions work yes. Very much. But I also know God's given me a heart for children and for homey things and maybe for marriage, but I dont want those things to collide with each other. I'm praying that its not a matter of choosing between one or the other. And if I do have a daughter some day I would much rather her read about these women than about fictional ones that present the greatest goal in life as being married to a "neat christian boy".




*I've never actually read any of those books by Beverly Lewis, thats just what I assume them to be about judging by the covers. Which I know is the mark of ignorance. Anyway, if you are someone who reads those and have found them to be particularly encouraging then I apologize. and also good for you.

650,000 Hours

I want to do missions. I've fed that line to probably more than 100 people in the last 3 months. During my time at cosmetology school, every client that would come in would inevitably ask the question "so whats your plan once you graduate?" They would throw it in right after "So how much longer you have in school?" which I'm convinced was their not-so-subtle attempt at hypothesizing the chances of getting their hair screwed up that day. Eh, you get whatcha pay for.
However once it became clear that it had to be the Holy Spirit giving me a strong desire to do overseas missions I started giving that as my answer. "What do you wanna do after you graduate? I wanna do missions." Which would then evoke a myriad of replies such as the immediate response of "Oh where do you go to church at?" or "oh you must go to that bethel church?" (which is a post for another day folks.... no really) or my personal favorite "you make any money doing that?". And so in all the responses and all the feedback from friends and family I kept expecting that at some point I was sure to change my mind and realize I do actually want to just live normally and decently, close to home. But I didn't and I haven't and I don't. I want to do missions. Gospel centered missions. And for me I feel like thats gonna look like teaching the gospel to people that would otherwise not hear of it. The beautiful precious gospel of Jesus' love and death and redemption for us. I want to be used to bring that incredibly great news to people who would not be able to know it otherwise. Even though I definetely wont "make any money doing that". Because when Jesus comes back with a sword and kills everybody till blood runs in the streets we are not gonna care what our hair looked like or what kind of car we drove or the brands we wore. Thats all gonna burn. Theres only one thing that lasts forever and thats peoples' souls. I think I want to spend my life on those.