NYTYTHITD

SO.

I don't make new years resolutions because I don't like to do things I'm not good at. Also I don't like to fail. And even though you'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take...

(thank you Mr. Zeller) I still don't like the stigma surrounding resolutions. Because there is so totally a stigma. Almost to the point where not making a new years resolution is the new making a new years resolution.

Actually the serious truth is that I don't like the idea of resolutions because they set up this pass or fail situation where failing often leads to depression and passing often leads to self righteousness. There's really no winning in that.

But I do love the idea of fresh starts and I do love the concept of setting goals and working at change in areas of your life that need it.

So I like to make what I call New Year's Train-Yourself-to-Head-in-that-Direction(s)

And this year for my NYTYTHITD (it will catch on, don't worry) I have decided to focus attention specifically on learning to be more encouraging and respectful toward others.

Which is tough because sarcasm is actually my native tongue. And also tough because it seems to be everybody's language of choice these days. Encouragement doesn't sell. Sarcastic wit and mockery sells.

But heres what I think I know about teasing in general. It eventually wears people down. Even the ones that would tell you its how they show affection, once the shoe is on the other foot, the right comments made by the right people the right amount of times and you're gonna see things go bad for that relationship.

And heres what I know that I know about encouragement. When someone says something to encourage me, its really.... encouraging. And it makes me wanna do better and serve them well, out of affection and not just half-hearted submission.

Which is why if I'm babysitting a kid I try never to throw out the "why don't you ever listen to me?" card because that isn't going to make them listen. Its just going to send them the message that says "I don't listen to her" and then they're going to continue to ignore me while still in a sense living up to my expectations of them.

Proverbs 18:21 says that death and life are in the power of the tongue...

So my words to people can either bring them life or send them in a death direction. Thats a pretty sobering thought. Especially when you hang out with kids all the time. Its also why when the kids I watch start fighting, I say awkward things like "we speak life over this mario competition!" and they look at me like I'm a total nutjob. Which gets them to stop fighting. See what I did there?

Its true though. And it applies to every relationship you will have. I've seen it a hundred times.

Romans 12:10 tells Christians to "Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor."

Outdoing one another in showing honor? Like I don't even know what that would look like. But I bet its super healthy and everyone is working to serve everyone else and not just themselves.

And then Hebrews 10:24 "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works..."

It sounds to me like we're actually supposed to be giving some mindspace to the task of figuring out how we can love and encourage each other. Pre-meditated encouragement as opposed to pre-meditated murder.

So that's my NYTYTHITD for this year, and I'm certain this isn't going to just happen without the work of the Holy Spirit so if you think of it you can pray that I'd be heading in this direction and I'll pray for it too and for the rest of us that we might be less concerned with how funny people think we are for our sarcasm and more concerned with how we can use our words to bring life to the people around us.